“I like to have a Martini, two at the very most. Three and I’m under the table, four and I’m under my host!”
Dorothy Parker was a brilliant, witty, cynical writer who also happened to be a notorious libertine and an unapologetic alcoholic.
Needless to say, she is one of my idols.
The Martini, tragically almost unknown here in Israel or worse yet, confused with that vile aperitif “martini bianco”, is without a doubt, Sex in a Glass-
It’s perfection relies not on numerous complicated ingredients, but instead on the sublime quality of it’s 2 ingredients and the skill of the bartender.
Imagine this: You’re sitting in a swanky club in San Francisco, in a white leather upholstered booth, listening to the cool sounds of a swing jazz band! Diamonds dripping from your fingers, Pucci silk on your back, and an outrageous piece of eye-candy in the form of a 25-year old Latin boy on your arm! As your boy-toy leans over to feed you a spoonful of caviar, you reach for your..Bacardi Breezer?!! Hell, no! no, no, no!
Your MARTINI! Shimmering like frozen liquid diamonds in it’s chilly glass!
This is how you make one, and therefore save the price of a ticket to sf, a high-priced male escort, and a big diamond ring:
Before you do anything else, fill your Martini glass (and don’t even think about using any other glass) with ice and let it chill for 5 minutes at least. Then fill a cocktail shaker with ice, add 2 shots of Bombay Sapphire Gin, and shake 5-6 times. Toss the ice out of the glass, add a splash of Extra-dry Vermouth, swirl it around the glass, and toss it out. Strain the gin into the chilled glass, and add either 1 green olive, or my personal preference, a twist of lemon peel.
You have earned the right to enjoy one of civilization’s greatest achievements!
The Noble Martini!