For anyone foolish enough to go looking for a good, authentic, Thai meal in TLV, I have one thing to say:
“It’ll end in tears”.
Unless, of course, you go to “Beit Thailandi” (or, in English, “Thai House”.)

The entrance to the Thai House

This place is not only an old and venerable TLV institution, more than 9 years old, but literally the ONLY place in Israel which serves  delicious, AUTHENTIC, and REAL Thai food-
NOT the usual hideous hybrid between Kosher Chinese, and  the dumbed-down,
Israeli-ized ,“Pad Thai/Chicken satay” crap sadly served to the unsuspecting public in almost every other place claiming to serve Thai food in Israel.
Watch out, along with your order of “pad Thai”, they might try to sell you a “Rolex” or a used car, too!!!

“Thai House”, although virtually unknown to the TLV Local Dining Public, hilariously enough, is nonetheless packed every single night with European, American, and Asian tourists and expatriates, and, of course every single TLV chef and cook on their night off.
Not to mention the Thai ambassador and diplomatic corps from all over the Far East.
I mean- you can forget about getting a table here without a reservation at least a night ahead.
But mention this place to most of your local Israeli friends who are not “Industry” , and be prepared for a blank look, combined with a sound like, “Whaaaaa..???”

Now, let me warn you right off the bat- The service is horrible.
Bored, distracted, 20-something year olds will come with glazed eyes to your table and recite with all the interest of a donkey affected with ADHD, the party line, as related to spiciness, ingredients, etc.
If you interrupt her hypnotized monologue to say that you would actually like to have the food made as spicy as the cooks themselves eat, she may shake her head as if waving away mosquitoes, and repeat “ummm…but it’s spicy”

Very hot chilies!!!

Ahh.... lunch!!!

(this is my only complaint- even dishes listed as “spicy” are in fact, tame as a pampered housecat, and no pleading, threatening, or demanding for extra heat will get you anywhere- the only way is to keep ordering more and more extra fresh chilies on the side until they finally get the point..)

An ancient cat God at the Temple of the dawn

Some pampered market pets

But I digress.

Since when do I give a Monkey’s Uncle about bad service in TLV??!!
That goes without saying!! And I really couldn’t care less about the service when the food is as good as it is here!

Perfect Tom Yam- exactly sour and complex, served correctly with real Thai sticky rice…
Yum Neua- a delicate, yet intense salad of raw beef with naam pla, mint leaves, fresh chilies, and shallots, is one of my favourite dishes, both to make, and to eat, and at Thai House, they make it perfectly- and with the thoughtful and necessary plate of cucumber and white cabbage chunks served on the side to act as a palate-cleanser to cool you down between bites of this deliciously aggressive taste explosion…

The Green Curry? Sublime.
Rich, decadent green curry made with (yeah, it’s true!) coconut milk which the Thai cooks prepare by hand, fresh, themselves. Not from tins. It’s damn hard work, and well worth it, believe me!!

Making fresh coconut milk

And, one of their touches which no one else in town can match, the addition of the irreplaceable tiny, “Pea” eggplant- bitter, astringent, and absolutely integral to the perfection of this dish- In Thai culinary language, these eggplants are considered a medicinal ingredient, and it is no mistake that they are added to this rich, heavy, dish.. these eggplants have an enzyme which breaks down fat and cholesterol, making it much easier for the body to metabolize the rich coconut milk based dishes that they are traditionally served with in Thailand.

Thai green curry

By the way- they grow these themselves, at their own farm! plus a lot more special, authentic Thai vegetables for their exclusive use in their dishes- including really esoteric things  like bak Pong and Pak-kana, both delicious and healthy Thai vegetables, which have no substitute-
You simply must taste them for yourself!!
These are grown for the special dishes which are written on a separate page and given to those who really want a true taste of Thailand unavailable anywhere else..

We ate a kilo each and it cost us $5

Farang!!!

Forget about the wine list- No wines really belong with Thai food anyway, and order a Thai beer. For dessert the tapioca with coconut milk is perfect.. not too sweet, not “updated”, etc.. EXACTLY as you would get it in BKK..

I spent 12 days in BKK (Bangkok) last year while shooting “Duet”, and I can tell you- I spent every spare minute I had, eating, drinking, and exploring this incredible city of dreams..

Yeah that's really me!!!

An excellent soup place (of course we forgot the name)

The herbs.. the markets.. the delicacy, intensity, the sensuality and aesthetic beauty of everything- from the fish and shrimps piled up in the markets, to the unimaginable beauty of the incredible flowers, in every corner shrine..

Wat Sutat Temple

filled with the heartbreakingly beautiful bunches of huge pink and white lotuses.. the exotic 3am flower market with it’s displays of mountains of orchids..mounds of jasmine buds, roses, neroli and lotus..dripping with dew and surrounded by food sellers offering everything from bags of salt-and- pepper quails,  fermented chiang-mai sausages, crispy coconut tuiles filled with salted shrimps and chili paste…

Food sellers at the Flower Market

I lost myself happily in Thailand, I wandered down alleys filled with ancient shops filled with gold- plated Buddhist offerings.. dusty lanterns..rolls of silk and priceless gold jewelry.. hundreds- years old Temples and shrines filled with exquisite art, peacefulness,  with the scent of incense wrapping you like a silken veil..

The breathtaking Wat Arun

Contrasted surreally with huge, glittering shopping malls filled with the latest luxury goods and top- flight electronic gear, designer and couture clothes, both real and counterfeit, and above all, the scent, the taste, the crackling sounds of swirling life and the electrical feeling of scent, taste, sensuality, and culinary delights, which filled my senses at every turn.

lotus lilies!!!

I felt strangely at home and at peace in Bangkok.
I could happily live there.

For now, until I go back, I go to eat at Beit Thailandi.

The delicacy, discipline, and passion of this noble cuisine is respectfully recreated here..
In the confident and professional hands of Yariv Malili and his wife, the Thai-born chef, Lek Sunan.. who make every attempt to bring some of the magical Kingdom of Thailand here to us in TLV…And for that, I am truly thankful!

Sawasdee Kah!

Thai House
בית תאילנדי
8 Bograshov St.
Tel-Aviv
Tel: (03) 517-8568

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