PREFACE:
This post was originally posted at the end of May 2011, in Hebrew, on the lifestyle portal site www.xnet.co.il
Even several months ago, when I returned from there, before the diplomatic situation deteriorated to the awful point it reached today, this article was considered to be very risky for me to publish- due to many Israelis taking as a personal insult seeing another Israeli print anything favourable about Turkey.
However- It is very important for me to note to you who read this that this exactly my point-
Many people around the world hate Israel because of the actions of a few, or the negative spin in the world press distorting reality in the media’s portrayal of Israel.
Just as I get angry and frustrated seeing this happen, so do I feel that Turkey as a nation does not deserve to be hated by all of us here in Israel because of the misguided policy created by the current PM , who has done much to damage Turkey’s noble legacy of moderation and a secular, free society.
I know many people in Istanbul, and believe me, they are as saddened as we are to see the state that their beloved country has gotten to because of fanatics that they fervently despise and disagree with-
My aim in re-posting this in English, on the worst possible day for anyone to be saying anything positive about Turkey is this:
Just as we who love peace and freedom in Israel and do not wish extremist factions to dictate to the world how we are perceived, so the sane, calm, and peaceful individuals in Turkey who deplore this situation, deserve to be seen as individuals- Not lumped together with the very savages they detest….
So I hope you will read this post and understand it’s context..

ISTANBUL and CHEF VEDAT BASARAN

I just returned from one of my most favourite cities in the world, Istanbul!
After spending a week there, of course I was itching to write about all the new things I ate, saw, and experienced.
Then, on our last day, I went to meet Chef Vedat Basaran, the incredible chef I had filmed an episode of “Duet” with in Istanbul, 2 years ago:

http://www.mako.co.il/mako-vod-mako/Duet-s1/VOD-c7386a4a2d57a21006.htm

After spending an hour with him seeing his new project, I realized that my posts about Istanbul will have to be in 2 parts, this week being dedicated exclusively to him.
His importance is far too great to just say just a few words in a general post.
First of all, Chef Vedat Basaran is not only just a great chef.
He is a true man of culture and education, and has devoted his professional life to preserving the culinary and artistic heritage of the Ottoman period of Turkey’s rich history.
I don’t exaggerate to say, to me he is a genuine role model and culinary icon I sincerely admire.
I won’t waste time repeating his accomplishments here because I discuss them in the “Duet” link which I posted above.

One of the things he taught me last time we met, was about how to prepare the noble “Kalkan” (turbot) in the authentic Ottoman style.
Below is a photo of me making it again later,  here in Israel, which I had specially flown to me from France!
( plus a photo of me and Alon holding up the turbot and a little note for Vedat:)

Here are a few photos of his restaurant “Feriye”, and a link about the restaurant and Chef Vedat from Wall Street Journal:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703683804574533852995675002.html

his kitchen, staff, and would you believe the view from the back door of the restaurant???!

Now in addition to all his impressive credentials, he is about to add to the list- Consulting Chef and director of the newest center for art and culture in Istanbul!
This insanely complicated and expensive endeavor has been more than a year in just the building phase, and I was lucky enough to meet Chef Basaran at the site, only one week before the scheduled opening!

The building itself is 4 floors and on each floor will house showrooms dedicated to different Turkish textiles, art, jewelry, and of course, food!
When we arrived to meet him, he was busy with the general manager, choosing the exact spot on the chef jackets where the logo will be placed.
As we entered, an incredible display of Turkish handmade glass globes hung like jewels from the ceiling.

Workers were installing the last of a curving steel balustrade wrapping the huge marble stairs.
Gleaming glass cases held examples of Royal Ottoman textiles and costumes from the Sultan’s palaces, Chef Vedat explained to me that these treasures were now being specially duplicated in by textile historians, to preserve the treasures for the future..
It takes months for laboratories to study the materials and the dyes and then the results are sent to the textile artisans so they can duplicate to the final detail the exact composition of each garment!

Walking up another floor, our breath was taken away by a three- story high vertical garden!
As the plants mature (they had only been planted a week before) they will make a rich living tapestry evoking the amazing textiles in the gallery inside.

In the restaurant, where geometric turquoise tiles frame the gleaming stainless steel and marble professional kitchen which in addition to serving authentic Turkish cuisine made by chefs from all over Turkey, personally trained by Chef Basaran himself, there will be classes with local chefs who through difficult research to find them, Chef Basaran has made sure that the ancient and complex culinary secrets they hold will be taught to the new generation of young chefs so these priceless cultural treasures aren’t lost forever.

We sat with him and even though the pressure of the opening was fully upon him, dozens of staff in full concentration all around him, his graciousness and hospitality never faltered.

He whispered something to one of the headwaiters who were standing just nearby, and moments later a delicious wood roasted flatbread covered with handmade Turkish cheese, herbs, and peppers appeared, even though the entire kitchen staff was busy with a full training and testing of all the dishes.

He spoke to me about his visits to Israel, and mentioned how much he enjoyed them, how much he appreciates Israel’s natural culinary products, and his friendship with Chef Ezra Kedem.
I appreciated his openness about his friends here in Israel, and it touched me even more, as these days many Turks, especially prominent members of society, would not wish to say publicly positive things about Israel..
I wanted very much to ask him how he felt about the political climate in Turkey now, but I knew that would be putting him in an uncomfortable position, and his grace and class would compel him to answer politely, and I had no wish to be pushy.

He told me about his Sommelier and how he has worked tirelessly to select the very best boutique wines, from local Turkish grape varieties, that could be found in the entire country, and introduced us to him, even giving us the names of several outstanding Turkish wines which he recommended we find and bring home with us (we did!)

Every detail of this project seemed to be personally supervised by Chef Basaran- Even down to the style and cut of the uniforms, the type of authentic handmade wooden trays for proofing the breads before they go to the oven, the marble slab counters in the kitchen, the placement of the equipment in the demonstration kitchen- no detail escaped his eye and his demand for perfection.
This to me is the sign of a true chef, and a true man of culture:
Devoting yourself to what you love and never saying “it’s good enough” unless it’s truly perfect.

You may notice I left my usual sarcasm and jokes at the door for this post and wrote simply about the privilege I feel to personally know Chef Vedat Basaran, and how lucky Istanbul is to have such a treasure.
I wish him every success with this new project, and hope to visit there again just as soon as possible.
If you have the chance to go to Istanbul, you won’t believe your eyes at the magic contained in this city!

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I’m sure it will surprise no one that my first post for Xnet ( www.xnet.co.il) will be about markets.
In this case the markets of Mexico, where I just returned from after 2 weeks.

What may surprise some of you is the absolutely dazzling level of quality, products, and the mind- boggling array of delights in Mexico’s markets that could fuel the fantasy feasts of foodophiles for years on end..

Mexico is a true love of mine.

I’ve seen her many times, at her best and at her worst, but every time I am mesmerized, enchanted, and I fall immediately under her spell the second I step off the plane..

There is something about this place, it seems always to be vibrating with an almost uncontainable life force, full of gladness, beauty, and vital sensuality.

The glimpses of the frightening or the grotesque just make it that much more intoxicating and it is exactly the contrasts here which make this place unlike any other on earth.

This visit was the first time Alon has been to Mexico, so it made it even more special for me-

for years I had wanted him to taste and see all the secret and rare things which I had loved so much and had always wanted to share with him..

Mexico’s culinary history is as vivid and extreme as the history of the country-

Gods, mythology, legends, sexuality- all these things in Mexico are connected somehow or another with food.

Nothing pleasurable, or sacred, in life, or in death, are separated from food.

I will get into this in more detail in future, but for now, let’s just say, “That’s just the way I like it!!”

First of all, we went immediately to the Friday Market, in Condesa, Mexico City.

It’s a travelling market which is located in different areas of the largest city in the world, (25 million people!!) on different days of the week.

We went with my culinary soulmate, the incredible chef, Peter Norman,( who lives with his partner, a stunningly talented jewelry designer and the possesor of one of the most hilarious senses of humour I have ever seen..to meet either of them is to immediately fall in love) in a beautiful apartment just a few minutes away..

The Jacaranda trees that fill the huge park in Condesa are just about to burst into full bloom, filling the air with their dusty perfume and carpeting all the streets with their sky blue blossoms.

Tiny birds fly everywhere. The park is filled with all different kinds of things-

The dark and sinister sounding whistle of the “Camote Man”, selling delicious wood- fire roasted sweet potatoes from a rolling cart with attached wood- burning fire oven!

The taco seller, with miniature freshly- made corn tortillas filled with roasted pork and fresh salsas and grilled green onions, you get them in sets of 4, add fresh lime and blazing hot habanero chiles.. The cost? 20 pesos (about 5 shekels!)

Fruit juice sellers, with a selection of fruits that overwhelm you, our favourite was the fresh Nopale cactus mixed with pink grapefuit- it’s delicious, extremely healthy, and is great for weight loss- an added bonus!

But I digress- we were off to the Friday Market!

The first thing I saw, to my delight, was this:

Oaxacan women making “gorditas” delectable treats made from Aztec blue corn, filled with handmade cheese, beans, meats.. Of course we ate several!

This little market packs a mighty punch:

The produce and vegetables blew my mind!

“Cuitlacoche”- a black fungus which grows inside ears of corn, discreetly today called “Mexican Corn Truffles”, it’s real name in the ancient language of the Aztecs, Nahuatl, actually translates to :

“Shit of the Gods”!! Oh my goodness!! Well, whatever you call it, it’s intense, unusual, and delicious!

Fresh pumpkin flowers!! fry them in a batter made from flour and beer, and dust them with salt!

Chayote vine squash, a pale green squash the colour of mint sorbet and with the delicate flavour and texture of cucumbers! These will clean your blood and remove toxins from your body!

Tiny tomatillos, sleeping in their papery husks, pink and blue potatoes the size of your little fingernail!

Jicama, a cool, intensely crunchy, and delicious root like a giant water-chestnut, a favourite treat is to cut them into big paletas like an “Artik” ice pop, and then dip them into sugars and salts flavoured with all kinds of different fruit essences and chiles!

But the jewel here (of course!!) is the FISH!!

This little stand was packed with some of the most pristine fish and seafood I have seen outside of the best markets of Europe!!

Huge Dorados! “Tiburones” ( thresher sharks) which must be eaten within 12 hours of being caught! “Percebes”, which are an esoteric delight often seen in the very best restaurants in Spain, these are giant barnacles, boiled for exactly 4 minutes in salt water ,and removed from their scaly “legs”.

In Spain these creatures cost 20 Euro per 100 grams, and taste exactly like fresh lobster!

Octopus (Pulpo), giant locus, and the best quality giant fresh shrimp I have ever seen, and now I will just rub a little salt in your wounds by mentioning that they cost about 40 shekels a kilo!!

The fish guys are incredible professionals, and have intense and obvious pride in their work. Respect!!

Now I can go on for hours on this subject but I will save some for later, and leave you with Peter’s simple yet special, recipe for: “Camarones en Tequila”. ( He uses Mezcal, but let’s face it. The chances of finding Mezcal in Israel, are small. If you do find it, or have it, use it)

And don’t blame me if you immediately after eating them drop everything and book a flight to Mexico!

Ingredients:

16 large FRESH shrimp, cleaned with scissors through the back of the shell and sand vein removed.

3 teeth fresh garlic, sliced

1-2 fresh green chilies, sliced into rings

Coarse sea salt

Fresh limes or lemons

Tequila (real, not that horrible fake Israeli “kahila” or whatever it’s called)

Canola oil

Ps.

For 10 years, since I moved to Israel, I ONLY buy my fish at “Moshe Fish”, in the Shuk ha’Carmel, and you should too.

03-5101863. And to make sure he pays attention to you, tell Moshe that Rima sent you.

He’s like a brother to me! I made the food for his kids’ Bar and Bat Mitzvahs!

He had everyone at our wedding sobbing with his speech, and he held up a corner of my Chuppah !

and his fish is simply, The Best.

Method:

In an EXTREMELY hot pan or wok add first the oil and when it starts to smoke, add the shrimp, garlic, and chilies.

Saute until the shrimp are cooked, about 3 minutes.

Add about 1/4 cup tequila, tilt the pan to catch the alcohol on fire, let it burn off.

Add plenty of sea salt and squeeze fresh limes ( try to get limes. It makes a big difference!!

You can call me if you want and if you are very nice I will give you some from my trees!) or lemons on top, serve with the rest of the tequila to drink on the side.

Pura Vida!!

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First of all, I don’t care what anyone says, I don’t like the texture of Frozen Olive Oil.
Secondly- argue with me until you are blue in the face, but I CAN taste the Alginate Gelling Agent in those spheres of yours.
And last, and most importantly-
Why, in the name of Batman’s Mother, does every photo, without exception, of every chef wreathed in clouds of liquid-nitrogen smoke, or holding aloft some sphere of emulsified organic free-range wombat milk “espuma” or whatever the hell it is like it’s the Holy Grail, have a pompous, smug, and utterly condescending look on his face like he has just looked down from the heavens and decreed:
“Let There Be Foam!” ??

Yeah..yeah.. I can hear you guys already, fingers poised over your “delete” and “unlike” buttons, muttering indignantly that I am insane, ignorant, arrogant, not “With The Times”, jealous that I didn’t think of it first, clueless, and other derogatory adjectives,
ad nauseum.

And you know what?
Those of you who know me, know that not only am I not afraid of a little controversy, I actively, and relentlessly, seek it out!!
So gather ’round, people, and allow me to explain in a bit more detail,

Why I Hate Molecular Cuisine:

In The Beginning, there was Ferran Adria.
An egocentric, yet spectacularly talented food scientist, chef,
and performance artist.
He created new textures, tastes, and the technology to make his
outlandish dreams into reality.
And It Was Good.

Then, into this pastoral garden of Eden, came the first sign
of trouble in paradise:
All around the world, restaurants started sporting menu items like
“gelled olive oil” “seawater sorbet” , and “calamari foam”.
And It Was Not Good.

“cashew milk air” and no, I didn’t make it.

Then came the second wave, which consisted of every snot-nosed stagiere
with 5 minutes kitchen experience and the best Culinary School Diploma their
parents’ money could buy, idolizing Ferran as if he was Farrah Fawcett in 1975. Some of those guys probably have posters of the guy hanging in their bedrooms, with suspicious sticky substances clinging to the edges.
And by “sticky stuff”, I don’t mean a spilled mocha frappuccino.

Needless to say, these prepubescent poseurs decided that what better way to Impress the Ladies (or trend slaves, tv producers, food critics, or bored and jaded clients) than busting out every single technique in good old Adria’s formidable Bag of Tricks, on every single dish on every single menu.
The cool little professional’s tricks which should have been used as accents, or highlights, once in a while, not constantly until they became nothing but a cliche, became their own worst enemy.
This is when I started really developing a serious problem with this stuff.

some idiot decided to put some kind of “espuma” (foam) on a tired, flat, ugly salad. I don’t think really it improved it’s aesthetics.

apparently, kids do not have lemonade stands anymore.

Here is a video of some chubby little twat demonstrating how to make
“Salt Cod Espuma, using an iSi ThermoWhip”.
It sounds like something from a bad S&M club. Enjoy:

watch?v=_O1McGOXGTo

some guy just learned how to make foams and crystallized stuff and decided it all needed to be on one plate. Don’t ask me what it is because I don’t know.

And what really put the last nail in the coffin for me, finally, was that an entire worldwide marketing campaign took hold, with endless tv shows, gadgets, kits, products, machines, and instructors to teach every chef, not to mention every coffee-house cowboy and bored housewife, why their life was meaningless unless they owned a Sousvide, a ThermoMix, or a Texturas kit!

a "Texturas" kit, Here is what “gellan” is made out of: “..Gellan is a very recently discovered gelling agent obtained from the fermentation of Sphingomonas elodea bacteria..” You can google up what that is, but I seriously wouldn’t advise it unless you’ve already eaten.

a low-temp immersion bath

This is “mechanically separated chicken”, which is what chicken McNuggets are made out of. It is made by taking the entire chicken, feathers, guts, toenails, and all, grinding it up, and passing it through fine strainers. Then it is disinfected by soaking it in ammonia, then re-flavouring it with synthetic chicken flavour, and re-forming into different shapes. Sounds like “molecular” cuisine to me.

And right about this time, mes chers amis, is when the wily and intelligent Adria decided to close his eponymous “El Bulli”, and head off with his bags of money, insanely lucrative product lines, reputation, and self-respect intact, into the sunset-
Leaving chefs around the world still churning out soulless and exact replicas of his once-innovative creations with the all monotony of McDonalds churning out McNuggets.

No longer is there any “Wow” factor.
Gone are the gasps of wonder and surprise when a waiter brings your dessert and there sits a pearlized sphere filled with foam, shining like some jewel in God’s Own Treasure Chest.
The big client your firm is trying to land won’t be impressed when you take him to a top-flight expense-account dinner and the waiter tells him
his foie gras en sous vide will be served with rosewater caviar pearls.
He’s seen it before.

Sorry, guys, every housewife in Omaha and their kids too, has seen all this stuff now, and probably also watched 10 TV shows about how to make it themselves.
As a matter of fact, here’s a link to a Flickr photo album by some mom and her ankle-biters making some foam, alginate gel spheres and some other stuff. Enjoy:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mylastbite/sets/72157618063612191/

Yep, this guy  Ferran Adria is a genius, no question about it:
He invented a whole new type of cooking style, complete with all the equipment necessary and ingredients to create these magical concoctions, which of course cannot be made without purchasing said equipment and ingredients, plus books, tutorials, courses, etc, and then he proceeded to ride the wave of hype, overexposure, and mythology all the way to the bank like Laird Hamilton riding the Waimea Bay Pipeline.

more stuff you can buy from Adria

Leaving all all of us industry veterans still in the mix, to deal with the culinary fallout of his seemingly benign invention,
“Molecular Cuisine”.

Just today, a friend told me she heard some “molecular chef” referring to something called “Atomic Glucose”. I have no idea what it is but it’s too pompous and lame for me to even bother looking up, sorry.

“Fallout?!” you say, “Isn’t that a bit extreme, comparing the trend of molecular cuisine to radioactive waste?!” and to this I say, “No”.

Why?
Because what started out as a great idea, something special and fun, to be used sparingly, rarely, and discreetly, say, like Cocaine, or Padded Handcuffs,
has sadly been transformed by overuse into a tiresome, predictable, overly showy, and vulgar caricature of itself-
Like a just-slightly-too-old ex-model with too much makeup, a little too much “work”done on her lips, and after a few too many drinks and a line or two of blow at the Xmas party-
Amusing and kind of hot at first, but as the evening goes on, becoming more and more embarrassing.
And much like radioactive waste, the after-effects of the Big Blast, started innocently enough by our friend Mr. Adria, are starting to make us all feel sick.

here’s a hard-to-find link for the entire texturas line of  molecular additives.
Which I personally find about as appealing as tits on a fish.
They’ve also been banned from use in Italy.
However, I know some of you are going to be jumping up and down and screaming with  orgasmic joy as you frantically run to click on “Order Now”,  so I will say “you’re welcome” in advance.
However, I would advise against reading about what all the stuff is made from.

http://www.solexpartners.com/media/texturas/index.html

But all of these snarky observations aside, (and ignoring completely the despicable and affected nonsense cooked up by Heston Blumenthal such as the blatantly-made-for-shock-value-only “Sardines on Toast Sorbet” etc. )
The most serious issue I have with Molecular Gastronomy, is the fact that many young cooks and upcoming chefs seem to want to go right to the foam, spheres, powders, “airs”, dry ice cocktails ” fume en vitrine” etc.
Without learning from the ground up, the important, and irreplaceable basics: Correct grilling, saucework, patisserie, and other techniques which are priceless skills, honed over long periods of time, by working in precision services, under seasoned Chefs.
NOT learned by programming an electronic appliance.

yet another tattooed and pierced 20 year old “chef” using a thermal circulator to boil eggs. wtf.

and some of the usual smoke and mirrors at Fat Duck.

a random Pompous JacqueAss

Many cooks today ooze confidence when demonstrating how to freeze ice cream with dry ice, make alginate spheres in calcium chloride baths, crystallize and powderize everything from heads of lettuce to blocks of chocolate, freeze oils, and how to correctly vacuum seal and cook a piece of filet at blah blah blah temp for blah blah blah minutes in their 5,000$ circulating low-temp water bath.
But God help these rookies if their Sousvide or their Pacojet, Runner, or whatever other gadget they rely on to execute a dinner service, breaks.

I have recently heard of a sous chef in an, ahem, “Top Restaurant” here in TLV, who told his cooks to take the beef filet off the menu when the Sousvide broke in the middle of service!!
(By the way, this with a working grill in the kitchen, and when one of the cooks suggested that instead of the Sousvide, they use the grill to cook the meat, he was shouted at and called a “Cowboy” by the sous chef!!)

There’s no real reason to put this photo here, but I found it hilarious that there is a site advertising “molecular cooking tours” in Cambodia.

Thanks to my network of cooks working in kitchens all over town, I hear stories like these and tons more, on a regular basis.

How about the guy who also cut a service short when the thermometer probe in the runner stopped working?

The dessert taken off the menu because the cream spheres made by the new chef patissier collapsed?

Are you starting to see my point, or are you still mad?
Still need another example?
Here’s a link to a blog from some amateur cook and his experiments with “MC” as he calls it. Apparently this atrocity, “Hake fish with beans and bananas with traditional flavours, powdered”, is from the Alinea book.
I am warning you, it’s one of the worst things I have ever seen:

http://audaxartifex.blogspot.com/2009/07/daring-cooks-3-challenge-molecular.html

There’s a guy here calling himself a “Private Chef”, who happily admits his culinary education was comprised exclusively by watching cooking shows on tv, and declares “Molecular Gastronomy” was his “inspiration to become a chef”. WTF?!
What happened to really learning how to cook, working your way up through restaurant kitchens, and getting a thorough culinary education and loads of practical experience before you even dreamt about calling yourself a “Chef”?!

I’m not saying molecular cuisine is to blame for this particular jackass I just mentioned.
But I am saying that overexposed trends started by truly innovative chefs, are then inevitably hyped, dissected, and co-opted by every “Celebrity Chef”. Then these trends filter down the culinary food chain to be seized upon like a filet mignon by a pack of rabid wolverines, by every single cook, from the ambitious up- and- coming talented chef de cuisine at the slick downtown brasserie, to the poor slob working the night shift at the all-night corner cafe, and it all combines to bring focus on the professional culinary field for the wrong reasons.

An example of bringing focus to the professional culinary field for the wrong reasons

Another one, and yeah, both of these people are hosts of tv cooking shows.

Not to mention, the lack of true culinary training, discipline, knowledge, and foundations in inexperienced young cooks who are exhilarated and intoxicated by this “Brave New World” may be the reason they come up with some frightening messes like this actual excerpt from actual article about an actual restaurant.
Ok, fair enough, it’s in a hotel in Dubai, but you get the idea. Yikes:

“…finally a Mango Capsule decorated with Basil Styrofoam, Lychee & Coconut drops and garnished with pink salt, pepper and chervil cress!
Spherically Mind Blowing!!..”

Spherically mind-blowing, indeed. Ugh. Here’s the link in case no one believes me:
http://www.younghotelier.com/young-hotelier-videos/molecular-gastronomy-at-tang-restaurant-video-interview-with-chef-stuart-sage/

I couldn’t find a photo of the “mango capsule” but here is one of “reverse spherification technique peas” WTF.

Folks- I’ve got some harsh news. You better sit down.
Working in the professional kitchen isn’t glamorous. It isn’t “sexy”. It isn’t easy, and there are no shortcuts, none at all.
You should enter this profession because you love to cook, and can’t imagine doing anything else in life.

my sous chef Shai, who has a smile on his face of pure joy every second he is in the kitchen.

Certainly not because you desire notoriety, money or fame. Very few of us will ever achieve that, no matter how blazingly talented we are, and if the real possibility that you will never appear on TV, or that no one
will ever know your name bothers you, you are definitely in the wrong profession.

a link to a “chef” who is definitely in the wrong profession:
http://www.zimbio.com/Indonesia/articles/436/Farah+Quinn+Sexy+Indonesian+Chef

Furthermore, you should embrace every single step of the lifetime journey of becoming a true chef:
From learning how to correctly wash a delicate bunch of mache, how to fillet an anchovy, how to bone a quail, how to clean a 30-lb halibut or butcher a side of beef, or sharpen all your own knives,
Damn, let’s face it- even how to clean a grill or a refrigerator correctly and how to do inventory carefully and thoroughly at the end of the month, how to work 6 months of doubles and back-to- back services every day if you have to, and without complaining or quitting, how to treat your dishwasher with respect, and how to train a young apprentice to make his first salad, all with equal joy.

my knives, which I know how to sharpen myself

Not just to be interested in eventually getting to do the really exciting stuff people seem to think all chefs do, because being a chef is such a glamourous job, such as: (yeah, right)
Wearing a clean white Bragard and a cool pair of Converse All-Stars,
“de rigueur” tattoo of fork and knife on one arm, and a model with breasts like sun-kissed organic cantaloupes on the other, smiling for the cameras, walking around the kitchen or the tv set with a glass of wine in your hand, soaking up admiration, offers for movie roles, and reeling in girls faster than than you can say “Tapioca maltodextrin”
(which by the way, is a starch patented as N-Zorbit M by the National Starch and Chemical Company.)
That’s what is used in molecular gastronomy to turn fats into powders.
Still want to order that green apple gel with caramel butter powder??

“Malto”

some “celebrity chef”

And a scientist in a lab. What’s the connection??

So for God’s sake, lay off the foam, dusts, frozen oils, “eines”
reverse-spherification suspensions etc, at least until you know how to perfectly cook anything from a delicate piece of fish, to a giant porterhouse steak on the bone, using nothing but FIRE, and with not even so much as a thermometer.
And I beg you: Garnish that steak with some fleur de sel and a drizzle of first press olive oil, not “Basil Styrofoam”.
And don’t serve it on a black slate slab, either, please.

Here and photo below: two porterhouse steaks. One is being cooked on a grill, the other in a sous vide. I know which one I will order.

The skill of really connecting with the process of creating food comes from intimately feeling, touching, smelling, handling real ingredients, for years, until you know just by a scent, a sound, a touch, if something is truly perfectly made.
That’s the most impressive dish you can serve anyone.

And not even one of Adria’s Magic Machines or Powders can replace that.

a beautiful porterhouse of Simmental beef, given to me by my friends Ben and Ilan at La Maison. And no, they don’t have a sous vide over there.

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La Maison, in Tel-Aviv, is exactly the type of place I love:
Tiny, free of artifice, and without a single molecule of compromise or pretension, to be found within it’s walls.

And better yet, it’s run by two of the best cooks in town, the former chefs at Yoezer, (Also in my TLV Top 5)  Ilan DovShani  and Ben Tidhar.
Not only do these guys bust out the VERY BEST charcuterie in Tel-Aviv, they are also fantastic guys who work hard, remain simple and down to earth, and make no secret that they are on a mission for perfection.
In short: My Kind of Guys.

In the several months that they have been open, I have become a real pest to those guys, I tell you:
I sit there at least twice a week, usually with an entourage of cooks, shovelling up everything those two are making, taking up all the space outside, (which is 3 tables outside on the sidewalk enclosed with a simple cast-iron fence with charming little iron birds clustered on the wires. Tres mignon!)

drinking fine Belgian beers, or in my case, arak, talking about industry gossip, and in general, treating the place like it’s our living room.
Well, true, there is a beauty-salon across the street catering to the, ahem, “cross-dressing” crowd, and maybe that isn’t in any of our living rooms, or maybe it is, because it’s none of my business what my cooks or my friends do at home!
But, hey, I am not complaining about that! It adds to the atmosphere!

This is not a real client of the beauty salon across the steet

Which is exactly another thing which is so great about La Maison-
Ilan and Ben aren’t just chefs. They are genuinely warm and interesting people, who make everyone, not just us cooks, feel at home.

Now that I have spent a bunch of time telling you what hella guys they are, let’s get down to business.
And by “Business”, I mean, discussing the best charcuterie that I have eaten in Israel.
Let’s face it: all the poseurs and followers of PR hype may sit at “Charcuterie”, but I sure hope it isn’t for the actual charcuterie, because that place is like that old story about “The Emperor’s New Clothes”- in short, a load of pretensions, out-of–line prices, and no substance.

The opposite is true at La Maison:
Their Pate de Campagne is comparable to the best ones that I have tried in France: Roughly ground liver, cured meats, and pistachios, gently baked en bain marie, the texture is rustic yet sublime, the flavours balanced, complex, and delectable! And let me tell you, it isn’t easy to make this the right way!
The outrageously rich and decadent Terrine of Chicken and Chicken Livers with White Truffle is simply “Over The Top”- and I mean that in the very best way!!
You’ll feel like a privileged French aristocrat when you sit down and eat this!

The little jars of the lightest and most delicate Veal Liver mousse are a special treat that should NOT be missed.
And the lightly smoked Pork Neck with a thick crust of toasted fennel seeds is succulent, unique, and makes a sandwich so divine it will bring tears to your eyes!

Rima is eating too much as usual

Handmade Coppa? Hell yeah!
Jambon, with a perfectly decadent layer of fat surrounding the delicate, sweet meat!
A Pancetta that they cure for 4 months, the only one in Israel!
I used to have to hand carry the stuff back home from trips to Italy!
A Roast Beef which they make from a huge cut of Sirloin on the Bone- covered with a thick crust of herbs butter and roasted to a perfect medium-rare!
Oh my God!  I usually sit there and eat about 300 grams of this, on it’s own, for lunch!
Corned Beef, Smoked Veal Pastrama- All of the very best quality, and with their unmistakable signature of excellence.

Even the potato salad, and chopped liver is different and so much better than the usual versions..
They also make handmade fresh sausages, which are sold raw, to take home and cook-  and yeah, I know that everyone and his brother has started making fresh sausages around here lately, but don’t be fooled:
Making sausages is a precise and difficult science, not as simple as just tossing a bunch of random stuff into a meat grinder and stuffing it into sausage casings-
(as most people do here!)
Making a perfect sausage is a precise emulsification technique- meaning that exactly the right amounts of meat and fat, at the correct temperatures, must be blended together to form the mixture, so it won’t turn into a greasy, crumbly, mess when cooked! Now that’s the kind of  “Molecular” cuisine I like!
These sausages are by far and away, the very best in Israel.
A perfect Boudin Noir (Blood Sausage) delicately flavoured with muscat and pepper.. succulent Smoked Paprika Chorizo,
(perfect for making Paella, I might add) white Bratwurst…
Take a bunch of these home, grill them up, make a salad and open a few bottles of wine.. Dinner is served!!

This is Ilan

And as if that isn’t enough, Ben has recently started to make absolutely fresh, delicious, and delicate pickled Palamida, and herring cured with olive oil, bay leaves, and allspice! Mon Dieu!
He claims he never eats fish unless it’s raw, so he won’t touch the stuff himself, but I have something to say to him: Buddy, you don’t know what you are missing!
And in case you cheap bastards aren’t convinced yet, the prices are not only reasonable, they are in fact, TRES reasonable!
Believe me, cooks are notoriously broke, and whether they love a place or not, if they can’t afford it, they just don’t go!
And my crew is there multiple times a week!

Up until now, they have been open from noon-8pm, from Sundays to Thursdays, and until 4pm on Fridays, but now, they plan on opening up at night, too, with a tiny bar, which in my opinion, is fantastic news.
Now all of us cooks can not only sit there all day, we can sit there at night, too- and DRINK! Hallelujah!
I only have one request, guys:
Bring some more wine, please! Or at least some Pastis! Truth be told, I’m not a beer-drinkin’ kind of girl.
But that’s just being petty, really.
I’ve even made a convert of Alon! If we don’t go there every Friday afternoon for lunch, he sulks and pouts, whines and complains, and generally makes my life miserable, until we get there!

Alon is drinking too much as usual

Well- as all of you know, at any given time, there are only 5 restaurants which I will sit at, happily, and recommend in Tel-Aviv, and since Yoshi closed a while back, there had only been 4-
Until La Maison came along, and jumped on in to the Elite Top 5!!
And to that, I say- Welcome, Boys, and Long May You Reign!!

La Maison
Tchernikovsky #1 (near corner of Allenby)

03) 620 6022

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For those of you who watch “Duet”-
There is one episode which was devised by the producers to cover-up a disastrous pilot, (nothing to do with me!!)
where I must introduce the episode by saying:
“This is an unusual Duet..because this time, it’s not my story..”

And so I will say this again.. but yet, in a way, it is my story, because it is the story of when Rima met Peter..
A chance meeting which, in fact, changed my life.

So, it began about a year ago, we were sitting around the house on Saturday, and the phone rang.
It was Yomi Levi (you remember, one of my best friends, who, along with his brother, owns and runs the best Turkish specialty shop in Tel-Aviv.. מעדניית יום טוב at 43 Levinsky..)
”Wake up!” he said, “We are going to Herzliya to eat at a great Turkish place! I’m picking you up in an hour!”
So what to do except get ready to go??

An hour later, Yomi arrived at our door, and with him was a drop-dead gorgeous man who looked like some sort of cinematic fantasy hybrid between, say, George Clooney, and a young Sean Connery..

Yomi introduced us, saying “This is Peter Norman- the famous Swedish chef everyone has been telling you that you must meet- he popped by, and decided to join us for lunch!”

Now, of course, I was overjoyed.
Because, actually, for months, I had been hearing “Chatter” (as they say in the C.I.A and Mossad when referring to receiving  high-quality buzz about someone-) about the fabulous Peter Norman- a crazy chef and stylist of mythological talent, who for reasons unknown, had decided to leave his pastoral farm in Sweden and move to Israel..
And in fact, I had been scheduled several times to meet him and due to one arak thing or another, just never happened..

Well, never mind. He came into our house, a book in his hand, introduced himself..
And it was that old cliche you always hear..”I felt like I had known him my entire life”. But it was true.
The book he had brought to me was in fact a copy of his book, “the PINK Cookbook”

http://www.lundlund.com/food-stylists/peter-norman/biography

Now, as all of you know, I do not read, or own, any cookbooks. But this one was different.
Not so much a cookbook, this was the single most aesthetically beautiful piece of food art I had ever seen.
And what made it even more striking to me was, the same time as I had been travelling the world, to 13 locations, filming “Duet”- Peter had been travelling the world- to 13 locations- shooting on location each chapter of his book.
It was remarkable, and his book took my breath away- And it still does.

Within hours of meeting, (Well, the place in Herzliya was closed!) we were all sitting at a steak house in NeveTzedek- (Makom shel Basar, to be exact, and I actually happen to really like this place- site : http://makomshelbasar.rest-e.co.il/)  Eating steaks, drinking countless bottles of wine, talking about travels, life, food, adventures, as if we were lifelong friends just reunited after a few months of travels apart, comparing stories..

That night (which in fact happened to be Peter’s birthday) ended up with us all over at Peter’s place-
(A beautiful, welcoming oasis of impeccable taste, refinement, and beauty, in the middle of Tel-Aviv)
drinking Swedish Aquavit, downing frozen vodka, eating caviar, dancing around the room to Brazilian remixes of 70’s disco classics, and generally having the time of our lives!!

And that was the start of our friendship.
From that day on, we trawled the markets of Tel-Aviv, ate countless dinners in his beautiful home, gossiped, planned menus, brainstormed ideas for all kinds of projects, cooked and ate beautiful meals, and of course, drank endless bottles of wine..

Peter, as is his nature, that is to say, he is a true citizen of the world, and follows his heart fearlessly, and purely, has moved away to Mexico City, just 2 weeks ago, with his partner, who we all fell in love with as he did..

And I will say this-
My life, and in fact, all of Israel, became a duller, and poorer place the day he left.
I have never met someone like Peter before- Full of charm, grace, laughter, wit, generosity, empathy, and blazing talent- Yet without one bit of the pretentious ego or narcissism that plague many in our field, with far lesser gifts than his..

I know I will visit him many times in beautiful Mexico,  a country which is also one of my true loves..
Strangely, in another part of my life, I was sure I would move there to live one day.

And I know he will be back to Israel many times, too, as the dust of this strange land has gotten under his skin, and will never allow him to turn his back completely on this place..

Meeting Peter was one of the rare occurrences which even fleetingly, make me believe in a higher power-
One which brought us together in order to experience life all that much more fully.

Miss you Peter

Rima Olvera & Peter Norman’s Grilled Fresh Shrimp with Tarragon and Pistachio Butter

20 large fresh shrimps, cleaned by cutting through the back of the shell with scissors, removing the sand vein, but leaving the head attached (if you simply insist on it, you can remove the heads, but they look and taste much better with them on..)

Carefully butterfly the shrimp tails (open them, but leave the shell whole from the back to hold the butter while roasting..)
2 sticks (200 grams) unsalted butter, softened,
3-4 cloves fresh garlic,
1 bunch fresh tarragon leaves,
about 1/4 cup fresh flatleaf parsley,
splash of Pastis, Pernod, or white wine,
zest from 1 lemon,
several turns fresh ground black pepper,
1/4 cup of shelled crushed pistachios,
big pinch sea salt-
Process all in food processor.
Spread each opened shrimp tail (look at photo) with a thick layer of the butter, and roast on top rack of oven, on hottest temp/”broil”, for about 4-5 minutes.
Serve immediately, with fresh lemon wedges (Meyer’s if available) nice sourdough bread, a frisee and lettuce salad, and a few bottles of crisp, dry white wine (like Sancerre, or good unoaked Sauvignon Blanc)

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I decided that I will start putting up the menus from my monthly members-only Supper Club here on my blog..
Ok, maybe not all the full menus, all the time, because let’s face it, I happen to be an ego-driven megalomaniac who is convinced that other chefs will rip off my ideas..
But, I will post some of them, I promise, and add photos from the dinners the next day..

Tonight happens to be a Wine Pairing Dinner, with one of my favourite Israeli boutique wineries, Alona Vineyards, and I wanted to create a menu that captures all the delicacy, yet, well, let’s not beat around the bush-
Bombastic Israeli Strength, of these incredible wines- using all the ingredients from the region.

So with no further ado- I present the menu for tonight’s dinner:

Omnivore Gastronomic Society and Supper Club

Presents on Thursday, April 15, 2010, at 8:30pm

“Symphony in shades of Grape”

A very special Omnivore featuring the beautiful wines of Alona Vineyards.

The winemaker will be in attendance.

A Delicate Salad of Crispy Duck

with confit strawberries, fresh herbs, and cardamom and rosepetal dressing

Wine: Alona Rose, 2008

Goose Liver “Bijoux”

Tiny profiteroles filled with goose liver, cherries, pistachios, spices, star anise and black tea syrup

Wine: Alona Merlot, 2008

Rare Beef Filet with Tempura Sage Leaves

Corn and white truffle fritters, artichoke and enoki mushroom salad

Wine: Alona Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve, 2008

Red Tuna “Kubeh”

Moroccan black olives, cured anchovies, tarragon, oranges, and green almonds

Wine: Alona Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve, 2008

Lamb Chops with Aniseed Crust

Goats cheese and mint crispy Yemen pancake turnovers, grilled grapes, and figs in balsamic

Wine: Alona Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve, 2008

DESSERT:

Caramel au Fleur de sel Tarts with Brulee Figs and Mint Ice Cream

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For anyone foolish enough to go looking for a good, authentic, Thai meal in TLV, I have one thing to say:
“It’ll end in tears”.
Unless, of course, you go to “Beit Thailandi” (or, in English, “Thai House”.)

The entrance to the Thai House

This place is not only an old and venerable TLV institution, more than 9 years old, but literally the ONLY place in Israel which serves  delicious, AUTHENTIC, and REAL Thai food-
NOT the usual hideous hybrid between Kosher Chinese, and  the dumbed-down,
Israeli-ized ,“Pad Thai/Chicken satay” crap sadly served to the unsuspecting public in almost every other place claiming to serve Thai food in Israel.
Watch out, along with your order of “pad Thai”, they might try to sell you a “Rolex” or a used car, too!!!

“Thai House”, although virtually unknown to the TLV Local Dining Public, hilariously enough, is nonetheless packed every single night with European, American, and Asian tourists and expatriates, and, of course every single TLV chef and cook on their night off.
Not to mention the Thai ambassador and diplomatic corps from all over the Far East.
I mean- you can forget about getting a table here without a reservation at least a night ahead.
But mention this place to most of your local Israeli friends who are not “Industry” , and be prepared for a blank look, combined with a sound like, “Whaaaaa..???”

Now, let me warn you right off the bat- The service is horrible.
Bored, distracted, 20-something year olds will come with glazed eyes to your table and recite with all the interest of a donkey affected with ADHD, the party line, as related to spiciness, ingredients, etc.
If you interrupt her hypnotized monologue to say that you would actually like to have the food made as spicy as the cooks themselves eat, she may shake her head as if waving away mosquitoes, and repeat “ummm…but it’s spicy”

Very hot chilies!!!

Ahh.... lunch!!!

(this is my only complaint- even dishes listed as “spicy” are in fact, tame as a pampered housecat, and no pleading, threatening, or demanding for extra heat will get you anywhere- the only way is to keep ordering more and more extra fresh chilies on the side until they finally get the point..)

An ancient cat God at the Temple of the dawn

Some pampered market pets

But I digress.

Since when do I give a Monkey’s Uncle about bad service in TLV??!!
That goes without saying!! And I really couldn’t care less about the service when the food is as good as it is here!

Perfect Tom Yam- exactly sour and complex, served correctly with real Thai sticky rice…
Yum Neua- a delicate, yet intense salad of raw beef with naam pla, mint leaves, fresh chilies, and shallots, is one of my favourite dishes, both to make, and to eat, and at Thai House, they make it perfectly- and with the thoughtful and necessary plate of cucumber and white cabbage chunks served on the side to act as a palate-cleanser to cool you down between bites of this deliciously aggressive taste explosion…

The Green Curry? Sublime.
Rich, decadent green curry made with (yeah, it’s true!) coconut milk which the Thai cooks prepare by hand, fresh, themselves. Not from tins. It’s damn hard work, and well worth it, believe me!!

Making fresh coconut milk

And, one of their touches which no one else in town can match, the addition of the irreplaceable tiny, “Pea” eggplant- bitter, astringent, and absolutely integral to the perfection of this dish- In Thai culinary language, these eggplants are considered a medicinal ingredient, and it is no mistake that they are added to this rich, heavy, dish.. these eggplants have an enzyme which breaks down fat and cholesterol, making it much easier for the body to metabolize the rich coconut milk based dishes that they are traditionally served with in Thailand.

Thai green curry

By the way- they grow these themselves, at their own farm! plus a lot more special, authentic Thai vegetables for their exclusive use in their dishes- including really esoteric things  like bak Pong and Pak-kana, both delicious and healthy Thai vegetables, which have no substitute-
You simply must taste them for yourself!!
These are grown for the special dishes which are written on a separate page and given to those who really want a true taste of Thailand unavailable anywhere else..

We ate a kilo each and it cost us $5

Farang!!!

Forget about the wine list- No wines really belong with Thai food anyway, and order a Thai beer. For dessert the tapioca with coconut milk is perfect.. not too sweet, not “updated”, etc.. EXACTLY as you would get it in BKK..

I spent 12 days in BKK (Bangkok) last year while shooting “Duet”, and I can tell you- I spent every spare minute I had, eating, drinking, and exploring this incredible city of dreams..

Yeah that's really me!!!

An excellent soup place (of course we forgot the name)

The herbs.. the markets.. the delicacy, intensity, the sensuality and aesthetic beauty of everything- from the fish and shrimps piled up in the markets, to the unimaginable beauty of the incredible flowers, in every corner shrine..

Wat Sutat Temple

filled with the heartbreakingly beautiful bunches of huge pink and white lotuses.. the exotic 3am flower market with it’s displays of mountains of orchids..mounds of jasmine buds, roses, neroli and lotus..dripping with dew and surrounded by food sellers offering everything from bags of salt-and- pepper quails,  fermented chiang-mai sausages, crispy coconut tuiles filled with salted shrimps and chili paste…

Food sellers at the Flower Market

I lost myself happily in Thailand, I wandered down alleys filled with ancient shops filled with gold- plated Buddhist offerings.. dusty lanterns..rolls of silk and priceless gold jewelry.. hundreds- years old Temples and shrines filled with exquisite art, peacefulness,  with the scent of incense wrapping you like a silken veil..

The breathtaking Wat Arun

Contrasted surreally with huge, glittering shopping malls filled with the latest luxury goods and top- flight electronic gear, designer and couture clothes, both real and counterfeit, and above all, the scent, the taste, the crackling sounds of swirling life and the electrical feeling of scent, taste, sensuality, and culinary delights, which filled my senses at every turn.

lotus lilies!!!

I felt strangely at home and at peace in Bangkok.
I could happily live there.

For now, until I go back, I go to eat at Beit Thailandi.

The delicacy, discipline, and passion of this noble cuisine is respectfully recreated here..
In the confident and professional hands of Yariv Malili and his wife, the Thai-born chef, Lek Sunan.. who make every attempt to bring some of the magical Kingdom of Thailand here to us in TLV…And for that, I am truly thankful!

Sawasdee Kah!

Thai House
בית תאילנדי
8 Bograshov St.
Tel-Aviv
Tel: (03) 517-8568

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“Il Pastaio”?? “what, is this some new place in town??”
This is what I hear every time I mention that I love this place.
The fact of the matter is, Il Pastaio has been open in TLV for more than 18 years- or, , similar to “Dog Years”, that means about 18,650 “TLV restaurant years”.

And in that time, it has managed to avoid falling into virtually every one of the stereotypical pitfalls of most of the other places in town- It isn’t owned by a huge group of  greedy and pompous investors, all of whom expect to take home 5-digit monthly salaries for doing nothing, while demanding their manager hire a chef to work 6 days a week for a global salary that their spoiled kids would laugh at if offered as their allowance, and closing the place after 2 years, amidst scandals and lawsuits.

It hasn’t been expensively decorated by some stuck-up interior designer who pays more attention while planning the space to the size of the sex/coke sniffing lounges (bathrooms) than to the size and comfort of the kitchen.

And most importantly of all, at Il Pastaio, they could care less about hiring some high-powered PR firm to pump the media full of overblown and inaccurate press releases, articles, and interviews ad nauseum, bringing in tons of people who don’t know or care if the food is actually good or not, as long as they can say they saw the chef on TV or read some ass-kissing article written by someone who was paid to sit there and write a glowing review.

No. Here you come because you want to EAT DELICIOUS FOOD.
Nothing more, nothing less!

Let’s speak frankly:
The place doesn’t have flattering lighting.
Normally this is something I am unforgiving about, being, ahem, of  “A Certain Age”.
But I suck it up, put on some extra make-up, and STFU about it here!
It has a few tattered posters of Italian Formula 1 racecar drivers adorning the walls, as decoration.
And if I am not mistaken, there may even be a vase of artificial flowers in the corner. Yikes!

Two of my BFF's who happen to also be frequent dining companions

However- what it lacks in atmosphere, it more than makes up for in the food.
They make perfect pastas, all by hand by the chef, Itzac, who is the son of the owner, who works in the front, along with his sister.

You won’t see him offering some “wasabi-flavoured pasta with Brazilian meatballs” or similar experimental silliness, complete with 4 different sauces in squirt-bottles splattered all over the rims of oversized square plates here!
No way!!! He is Old-School all the way!
Respect!!!
They also sell their superb fresh pastas by weight from the shop, if you feel like cooking at home..

on my way to Il Pastaio on my bike a while ago, I saw this beautiful work by my favourite street artist, “Klone Yourself”

My particular favourite pasta here is the Porcini raviolis- delicate, small, charmingly cut in the shape of an actual porcini mushroom, they are packed with intense, true porcini flavour. Every time I order these I feel like ordering another plate of them when I finish the first one! There are excellent gnocchi in real Italian Gorgonzola sauce (NOT cheap, Israeli “Rokfor” I might add!!) Delectable, Lasagne Bianca, perfectly made. Succulent Scalloppine of Veal with Porcini mushrooms, another one of my favourite dishes here. Also an excellent-quality rare entrecote steak, grilled and thinly sliced, on a bed of pristine, fresh arugula, it is light and clean. Too bad there’s no radicchio to be found in Israel!! But that’s not their fault!!The “Carciofi alla Giudia” (Jewish Artichokes- the classic Roman dish) are surprisingly made with delicately marinated artichoke hearts- different, and exquisite. I always eat 3 by myself. (What?! gluttonous you say??! Thank you!!)

Carciofi alla Giudia

Even the old standard Veal alla Milanese, which most people seem to think is just another word for “schnitzel” (it is NOT!) is precise, tender, juicy, and made with a thin slice of REAL veal, with the bone, lightly dredged in crumbs and pan-fried- NOT heavily breaded with a nasty, thick batter of flour, eggs, and breadcrumbs and deep-fried in soy oil, as you will find if you make the horrible mistake of ordering “Milanese” elsewhere.

As a matter of fact, I basically am going to go out on a limb here and say I would be damn surprised if no matter what you order here, won’t be delicious.

As for wine, the list isn’t worth mentioning, but who cares. I always order a few bottles of Orvieto Classico,

The breathtaking Medieval Italian city of Orvieto. I drank some wine here, I can tell you!!

and at less than 90 shekels a bottle, it’s light, crisp, refreshing and goes perfectly with the food here.
If you insist on being a snob, bring your own good bottle and pay the corkage.

As you all know, I adore Rome. In fact, it happens to be one of my favourite cities.
here is a great place I love, and you should try, when in Rome:
Hostaria Romana
Via del Boccaccio, 1, Rome, Italy
064745284

Rima eats fresh Porcini at Hostaria Romana, Rome

I can truly say that Il Pastaio, in both authenticity of food, family-run and warm, and with it’s absolutely non-TLV poseur-oriented atmosphere, I feel like I am sitting in Rome every time I go here, and you will too.

Two cooks on a break in Rome near Piazza Navona

Alon outside the Coliseum

I adore Italian food, and it is one of my most cherished foods to both cook, and eat.

It took me 10 minutes to get this shot

I guess conservatively, I have spent more than 20 years studying and cooking Italian food, from all areas of Italy, and it makes me damn mad to see some coffee-house cowboy with 2 years kitchen experience insulting this noble cuisine by serving up soggy, overcooked pastas swimming in bowls of hideous cream sauces, or plating up “gnocchi” that are so heavy, Tony Soprano could use them as weights when he sends someone who double-crossed him, to “Sleep with the Fishes”!

And it makes me even madder to see some “Top Chef” who, as accomplished as he may be in his own style of food, nonetheless has zero experience in Italian food, yet opens some flashy “Italian” place with his name splashed all over the press and with a line out the door- because  he apparently thinks, “How hard could it be to cook Italian food??” and his PR team will back him up- all the way to the bank- at the expense of the dining experience of the Israeli Public.

Jackass

But when you eat there, if you have actually ever eaten true Italian food, you realize, to your dismay, that you have just been, well, screwed yet again-
Compliments of the nepotistic and clique-ish Israeli PR machines and their fawning servants, the media.  I’m not naming names here, but I could!!!

Do yourself a favour and avoid the hype, the nonsense, the empty pretensions of unqualified charlatans,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8StG4fFWHqg

And more importantly, avoid the inevitably mediocre food to be found so often in so many other “Italian” places in TLV -
and go get a truly excellent Italian meal at Il Pastaio.
And don’t forget to tell those guys over there to get a plate of Jewish Artichokes ready for me! I’m on the way over!!

Il Pastaio
איל פסטיו
http://www.ilpastaio.co.il/
27 Eben Gvirol street
אבן גבירול 27
Tel: 5251166

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I’m sure everyone has heard the saying, “Any press is good press”, right?
Well- that may be true. Although after seeing the context of Tiger Woods’ name splashed all over every media format in the known universe today, I’m sure he would disagree.
However- in my case, my name is spelled completely differently every time my name appears in print.  Now this would be extremely useful if I was, say, a spy, a movie reviewer, or a money launderer.

However- since I am a chef, this causes me all kinds of angst.
First of all- without the intention of sounding like an Ungrateful Bastard, I really don’t see how it is possible for my name to be spelled in these recent variations:

Rima Olivera

Rima Aloe Vera (true)

Rima Oliver

Rima Olivier

רימה אוליוורה

רימה אוליברה

רימה אולוורה

“Ok!! What’s the big deal??!!  @#$!! Diva!  why are you complaining??! Get over yourself!! Jeez!”    
I can hear what you guys are thinking- what, you think I just fell off the turnip truck or something??!

Well- first of all, let me point out that as well as being a buzzkill, seeing your name constantly misspelled, is demoralizing. Not to mention, in a more tangible example, crappy for Google searches.

I mean, it’s not like my name is THAT difficult to spell!!
I mean, it’s not like I have THIS guy’s name: Bart Bruyninckx !!!
Yeah- it’s true- This is the Endive farmer who I met in Belgium while filming “Duet” Belgium, with Chef Felix Alen.

Now, as well as this poor guy probably never in his entire life, having the chance of seeing his name spelled correctly, happens to grow the MOST EXQUISITELY PERFECT tiny, baby Belgian Endives in the world, which he charmingly calls “Chiconnettes”. 

Bruyninckx Chiconnettes

As everyone knows (especially my old Crew) my favorite food in the world, is Chicory- That means, Radicchio, Escarole, Frisee, Puntarelle, and of course – Endives.

Rima Olvera Devilishly good

This weakness happened to be the reason why I was almost unceremoniously removed from an El- Al flight back home out of Belgium- Apparently, the entire box of Bart’s sulime “Chiconettes”, which I had stashed in my luggage, had an export label which was in numerous languages- including Arabic..
I was pulled aside, and grilled at length on why I happened to be travelling with something written in Arabic. Suffice it to say, after 2 hard shooting locations in a row, an ear infection which required my ear being punctured by a Frightening Belgian Doctor, so I could fly, I was in no mood for diplomacy.
I ranted, raved, told them to remove me from the flight, and had to give my Entire Jewish Family Pedigree in order to be allowed on the flight!!  And, it was a small price to pay in order to keep my precious Endives!!!

The Mighty Ones : Michal, Tami, Tal, Amnon, Naftali

Anyway- I seem, as usual, to have gotten off the track- and for that, I apologize!!

However- I hope very much when you email me to thank me for telling you about these ethereal endives, and why never ever to fly El-Al, you will spell my name right!!!

Sincerely-

Rima Olvera

Rima Olivera

Rima Aloe Vera (true)

Rima Oliver

Rima Olivier

רימה אוליוורה

רימה אוליברה

רימה אולוורה

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I can hear it already- a deafening roar of outrage and offense, at the very mention of the dreaded word- “Anise” !!
Well, sorry guys, but I am compelled to try to clear the wrongly slandered name of the sublime Anise!!

First of all, you might not be aware of this, but “All Anise Is Not Created Equal”- what I mean is, people have a tendency to say,  ‘I despise anise!” across the board, as if fennel, liquorice, star anise, aniseed, etc are all the same thing…

Well- they are not.
Most of you have heard of, if not taken a drink of, the legendary French liqueur Pernod, or Pastis- which admittedly, to a novice, or a hater, is, well, let’s just say “hardcore!!”.

Not everyone feels the same desire as I do to sit in a market in Provence at 6am, with the, ahem, “Rustic” companionship of the men of the woods and farms who have come to the market to sell their exquisite treasures, and after unpacking, sit in the market cafe, smoking non-stop, arguing over the day’s upcoming sporting matches, and of course drinking Pastis-

And you know what?
I don’t blame you!! However- I do blame anyone who refuses even to try Anise in food, or as an accent, in certain preparations.
You are really going to miss one of the more ethereal  sensory delights on the planet!!

Pastis is a subject which afficionados can spend hours discussing..
Suffice it to say, I do not have all day to spend on this topic-
Because, if I did, I would be late for cocktails, and my evening “Arak” (a Middle-Eastern anise liqueur of varying degrees of sophistication- from the highly refined and elegant arak of Lebanon and Syria, to the somewhat more proletariat versions produced in Israel.. “elite” (as pictured here, is cheap as chips (aprox. 5 dollars per bottle, and although blue-collar, delicious nonetheless!!!)

All of them potent, intense, and absolutely delicious mixed either with ice-cold water, or fresh squeezed red grapefruit juice- or  superb as a sherbert on a hot day! (or, at my beloved “Gabe’s”-mixed with cheap, artificial, grapefruit soda!! Yikes!!!)

Here is how to make a arak or pastis sherbert to die for!!
-take 1 cup half- and –half (1/2 cup each, heavy cream, half milk)
Scald in a pan with 1/3 cup sugar. (note: i do not think this sherbert should be too sweet. in fact i prefer it on the sour side. If you disagree, add more sugar, but remember not to add to much or your sherbert will not freeze completely)
Let cool to room temp.
Mix with 2 cups fresh-squeezed fresh pink grapefruit juice, and 2 shots of Arak, Ouzo, Raki, or Sambuca  (do not use Pastis or Pernod for this as it is too strong!!)
Chill thoroughly, then freeze in an ice-cream machine. Either serve immediately, or put in freezer til later, then scoop out and serve in highball glass with additional shot of Pastis poured over plus pink grapefruit segments and chopped fresh mint… Anyway, as usual, I digress:
Pastis (which by the way, is distilled from the Asian herb “Star Anise”) first appeared in France in the 1930’s,

following the ban on Absinthe, which was made from the totally different tasting European herb “Green Anise”- distilled to a dangerous 74% alcohol content, and made even more lethal by the addition of Wormwood,( “Artemisia Absinthia”which is a powerful soporific and hallucinogenic compound, with addictive qualities as well! However, in it’s defense, it was used in the middle ages as a water purifier and antibacterial!! 
Now that’s some Good Medicine!! Hardcore!!

Some of the paintings of Van Gogh, Manet, and Picasso, were done under the influence of Absinthe, and their increasingly erratic behavior now can be attributed to the brain-altering effects of Absinthe- otherwise known as “Le Fee Verte”- or “the Green Fairy”-

 
In any case, things got so out of control in the late 1800’s, that a total ban on the drink was ordered, and it took a while, 17 years to be exact, for  Paul Ricard, to formulate a drink which tasted similar, without using wormwood, and without the sky-high alcohol content of the forbidden, and sorely missed, Absinthe..

Today, 130 milllion liters of Pastis are sold in France alone- and this is not mentioning the enormous popularity of other Mediterranean anise liqueurs such as Greek Ouzo, Turkish Raki, Italian Sambuca, and my beloved Middle-Eastern Arak! 

By the way, everyone has their own favorite brands-  In France, the most popular being “51”, Ricard, or Pernod- and always served with a carafe of
ice-cold water to mix it with (usually 4-5 parts water to 1 part pastis-) The effect of it turning from clear yellow or clear, to milky white is the result of the decreasing alcohol level, due to diluting with water, and some of the components becoming insoluble- This is known as the Ouzo Effect..and it is beautiful..Like looking at a liquid Opal glowing with it’s own internal light…

Here are some excellent drinks to make with Pastis:

Mauresque: (“Moorish”) 2 shots Pastis, 1 shot Orgeat Almond Syrup, 1 drop Orange Flower Water, mix, pour over ice cubes in tall glass, top with soda water

Marie la Sanguine: replace vodka with Pernod or Pastis in a Bloody Mary

“Tomate”: Pastis with a splash of grenadine, with an orange twist and soda

One of the more delicious examples of anise I can remember was last year when we were shooting “Duet” in Istanbul.. 
Alon and I went after I finished for the day to an amazing small fish restaurant in the Taksim (the main promenade through the center of Istanbul) where there was not a tourist to be seen, only dozens of Turks, dressed to the nines, eating huge, outlandish platters of all kinds of fresh fish and seafood, and washing it down with bottles of ice-cold “Tekirdag Gold” Raki!!

Of course, we followed suit- and finished a whole bottle with our 2-kilo “Kalkan”- the mighty and aristocratic Bosporus Turbot!!

I still have half a bottle of that stuff which I carried home with me, and I treat it like gold!! Smooth as silk! Powerful as a upper left hook punch encased in a velvet glove!! Divine!!!!

by the way- the best way to enjoy  Raki is with chilled green melons, green or red plums, and Turkish Feta cheese -“”Yufka”- the very best Feta in the world.  Heaven!!!!!
 

Another thing I really love about anise liqueurs, besides the decadent buzz, and overall euphoria- and never with the aggression or melancholy that may strike you as when you are drinking gin, or vodka, I might add- is it’s absolute irreplaceable benefit to cooking- especially in dishes involving fish or seafood.

My mom, (who as all of you know, is world-famous for being one of the most exquisitely horrible cooks on the planet-)  hates and despises anise, fennel, and all it’s cousins with an almost religious intensity bordering on fanaticism..
Just the insinuation that anise may be lurking in a dish she is about to eat is enough to drive her into a rage, or tears!!
Nonetheless, this does not prevent me from slipping liberal splashes of Pernod into a Bouillabaisse,  or on top of a grilled lobster, and if she eats it, she proclaims it delicious!  If she only knew what she had just eaten, she would disown me!!

Just this week I made a strange, bizarre, and completely delicious confiture of forest mushrooms, in a star-anise gelee, which I served with a lamb “Pastilla”, for Omnivore….. Which was duly devoured by one of my best friends,
pronounced “delectable”, and then when confronted with a written menu mentioning the star-anise- he turned a ghastly shade of green and asked me, voice quivering with horror -“But you didn’t actually use star anise in that dish, did you?!”

The same folks who claim to despise garlic, yet when confronted with a bowl of perfectly made, delicate, melting garlic Confit, will eat it all and ask for more, are usually the same ones who will love a creamy, nutty, delicate, and gentle soup, made with nothing more than fresh fennel bulbs braised in olive oil, pureed, mixed with fish stock, some tangerine zest, a splash of cream, and some fresh mussels, and toped with a slice of Pan Levain fried in olive oil..  and chances are, they won’t even notice it is fennel unless you tell them!
Fennel, like garlic, loses all of it’s harshness and aggression when made into confit, or braised, grilled, or roasted..

Me and my old Hippy Dad used to collect wild fennel and use it to grill fresh chanterelles and porcinis from the woods, and to make tea from it’s flowers- which by the way, is extremely healthy and cleans the blood and liver and removes toxins from the body..

In short-  What I am trying to say here, is- “Give Anise a Chance”!!”
It may indeed be a stretch to think that everyone should be downing tall glasses of Pastis or Pernod..  And I’m not recommending that you do! or, maybe I am!!

What I am recommending is that those of you who hate and fear the stuff, try to be a little open minded, and use it in a way that you would use, say, saffron, or vanilla, or bay leaves.. All delicious, unique, and amazing flavours when used carefully and with restraint- which will bring out all the delicacy and potential of the dish it is in…. and yet, if overused, will overpower, and destroy it.

Here, to prove my good intentions, are directions for how to make a sublime Lebanese style Tabbouleh Beef Tartare..
And please! Trust me and add the arak/raki/pastis… you won’t feel it, but the complexity it adds to the dish is incredible..

First- soak 1/2 cup Bulghur Wheat in cold water til al-dente, drain, set aside.

Hand chop about 400 grams (about 1 lb)  fresh beef filet, finely.

brunoise 1/3 red onion

chiffonade 1/2 cup (packed- about 1 bunch) fresh mint leaves

chiffonade 1/2 cup fresh parsley leaves

finely grate 1 clove garlic

juice plus zest from 1-2 big lemons

1 hot green chile (or to taste- can leave out if you want, but i think it’s better with..) minced

Mix all of these ingredients, kneading well with your hands, add sea salt/atlantic salt and plenty of fresh ground pepper to taste, plenty of extra-virgin olive oil, plus a big handful toasted pine nuts..

Form into a “patty” shape on a platter, score with a diamond pattern, then pour 1 shot  Arak, Raki, Ouzo, or Pastis over top, garnish with whole mint leaves, more pine-nuts, generous drizzle of olive oil and some edible flowers plus grilled Pita or toasts….

So til next time…I hope you will have taken the plunge and overcome your Anise Fears.. and don’t forget to thank me next time you are sitting around eating a huge plate of grilled fennel with orange and fennel seed vinaigrette, and Crottin goats’s cheese!!!

A’Sante!!!

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