“Japanese food and TLV.”
Hmm. Something in this sentence seems wrong…
Well, until Yoshi (Yossi Holu) came along, that is.

Alon at YOSHI

I’m very sorry to say this, but the fact that there are “Sushi” bars on every block in TLV, does not mean for ONE SECOND that I would eat at these places-
In fact- I would not send my cats to eat there.

For example, here, for your amusement, is a badly-written, hilariously provincial, and embarrassingly ridiculous article about TLV being a “Mecca for Sushi”

http://www.ynet.co.il/english/articles/0,7340,L-3499855,00.html

And to this I have one thing to say: YOU RECKON???!!!!

i.e:
“Japanika”- comes to mind as a big offender-
A Kiosk in the middle of Rothschild Ave, serving frozen tuna sold as “Maguro”, Nasty, hard-packed makis made with refrigerated, soggy rice you could use as glue to hold together bricks, pre-cut vegetables prepped hours before service, shlepped down the street from the apartment serving as a prep kitchen by dejected “cooks” who are paid minimum wage to shovel up pre-made slop bad enough to induce someone who loves, respects, and understands real Japanese cuisine, and sushi, to commit Harakiri-

And worse yet, the !@#$%! place is packed every night!

And don’t think I am singling them out for abuse!
This is a very long list which I will devote another post to in future!

Anyway- The point being, many people here claim to love sushi, yet it is my sad belief that 99% of the people here have never actually really eaten real sushi, or Japanese food.
As well as the awful “Sushi Bars” in TLV, just look at all the Kosher catering offering “sushi” at every single Horrible Wedding… And this is what people think sushi is?! WTF?!!

If you are not in TLV and can’t go to Yoshi,
Here is the link to my favourite Sushi bar in NYC:

Blue Ribbon Sushi
119 Sullivan St
(between Prince St & Spring St)
New York, NY 10012
(212) 343-0404

Rima slices Lobster Maki at Omnivore

In fact, before Yoshi came along, the only place in Israel I would eat Sushi at, was at my house!

And I should note that I have spent 25 years studying Japanese philosophy and culture, and 19 years studying and practicing Japanese Cuisine!

Matcha Tea Rice Onigiri and Maguro at Omnivore

Hamachi and Asparagus Tempura at Omnivore

Sorry to get on a Rant, but Sushi is not something that a housewife, or even a cook or chef, can prepare after reading an online recipe, or watching some crappy tv show, or buying a book!!

In fact it makes me DAMN ANGRY to be at a shop and see someone come in, clutching a print-out from the internet, proclaiming to one and all, that she has decided to make sushi that evening, because, “How hard could it be- It’s just rice and raw fish!”
!@%$#@$!!!!!

Cutting Bluefin Tuna at Tokyo Fish Market

This is a lifelong discipline which requires YEARS of dedication and understanding of both culture and philosophy, not to mention all aspects of devotion to the subtleties of this noble cuisine!
There are guys in Japan who work for 7 years or more, just perfecting the artistry of correctly preparing Sushi Rice!

NOT as I might add, how things are here (with a very few exceptions
which I will discuss later) where a resentful foreign worker or 17 year old student before he leaves to the army, is preparing horrible vats of rice not fit for pig food, after about 2 hours instruction!!
And, the Citizens of TLV are eating it, and liking it! WTF?!

Now, back to what I was discussing before, which is YOSHI:
let’s face it: The location sucks.
The interior was not designed by some Muckety-Muck interior designer, for 2 million dollars (Thank God!)
It is extremely simple, to the point of being “un-designed”.
The waiters, who know the menu inside and out, and are pleasant, professional, and knowledgeable.
(This is in stark contrast to most of the “waiters” at most of Tel-Aviv’s other Sushi bars, where they are chosen only for their looks, and usually fancy themselves to be aspiring models, or moonlight as ‘selectors’ at the nightclubs on their days off!)

Unfortunately, they don't serve their sushi like this!

You won’t see “Brazilian-salsa-maki” or any other fusion crap on his menu!
And all these points make this place virtually invisible to the sushi-eaters of TLV!
So take my advice- if you want to avoid poseurs, and temples of hype devoted to the design of the furniture, and instead you just want to concentrate on Real Japanese food- come here!!!

At Yoshi, he has not only just perfect sushi but also authentic and unusual Japanese first courses, such as his Agedashi Dofu,
which is a paragon of delicacy-  the dashi with it’s subtle scent of the sea, from the kombu in the REAL dashi-
(the Japanese equivalent of basic chicken or beef stock-)
(And by REAL, I mean, none of the MSG- filled, instant dashi you can buy at the shops-)
Combined with the lightly smoked flavour of the freshly-shaved dried bonito flakes shivering on top of the lightly crispy rectangles of crispy tofu floating in that ethereal dashi-
And with the correct garnish of freshly-grated daikon radish adding astringency and contrast to this classic dish, Yossi (“Yoshi”)shows his confident and exquisite hand.

Similarly, he has REAL Japanese Hamachi Yellowtail Sashimi and Sushi-

Hamachi Sashimi

And I must say now- with truly perfect Sashimi and Sushi, just as important as the quality of the fish, is the manner that the fish is sliced, and the sharpness of the knives, the direction of the cut regarding the tendons of the fish, and of course the correct preparation of the rice- which prepared right, should maintain each separate grain in prefect individuality, and al-dente-
NOT a disgusting, squashed, mush!!!!!

Suminagashi Deba Sushi Knife

Yoshi does all this, and also keeps the respect for his ingredients by serving with the correct garnish of Tosaka-nori and julienne Daikon radish with his sashimi- And, correctly, the fish is NOT cut in paper-thin slices as if for carpaccio!
No way!! perfect, almost 1cm-thick slices of top-quality fish are what you will get when you order Sashimi here!!

His Maguro salad? SUBLIME!!!  Cubes of A-Grade maguro, cut a’ la minute, dressed lightly with a Japanese mustard (NOT wasabi!) sauce, with fresh wakame seaweed and edamame… oh man alive!!! “Oishii” !! (delicious)

Wendy Ding's lovely painting of a "Sushi-Girl" Oiishi!

And his “Spider-Roll”- a whole, tempura-fried soft-shell crab, rolled in a Maki with tobiko caviar! Heaven!!
I have been known to eat 2 of them by myself!!!

Spider Roll

As for sake, I recommend the “Nigori”- which is unfiltered sake with a white, milky texture and fragrance of fresh almonds and lychees.
Or the austere and refined “Jinjo”- the equivalent of a dry, crisp, Pinot Grigio or Fume Blanc.
Of course, these are served cold.

Nigori Unfiltered Sake

As I said before, and I will say it again:

If you want flashy interior, models as waiters, and cream-cheese and bacon makis,  or “Fusion” crap, etc-
Go elsewhere.

If you want the only truly authentic Japanese food in TLV- Go to Yoshi.

Arigato Gozymasu!!!

Rima, Shai, Alon at Omnivore

Yoshi:
76 Arlozorov, corner of Shlomo Ha’Melekh, Tel-Aviv
03- 522-5125

יושי- רחוב ארלוזרוב 76, פינת שלמה המלך, ת”א. 03-5225125.

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